what happens to the mean girls after highschool
Y'all know what I realized? All the friends I could've made but couldn't. Not for lack of trying, but due to the efforts of others who have contributed to my own toxicity.
When I was a freshman in high school, there was a nice girl in my course I wanted to be friends with. 1 afternoon I happened to walk abode with her big sister who told me, "She said that ***** told her you backstabbed her and that you're a mean person. She's angry at you and doesn't want to talk to y'all." Needless to say her big sis didn't want to have annihilation to do with me after this.
Countless times through the course of my life I would hear the same from people I don't talk to anymore simply still take on my Facebook, or fifty-fifty from people I have become very practiced friends with – "To be honest, Sade, I'm surprised you're nice. People told me non to exist friends with you lot considering they think you lot're a bad, crazy person" equally if this were some sort of half-assed amends, as if this were some fashion of saying "Yo, I see the rumors are wrong. Yous now have my blessing." Different people, different fourth dimension, aforementioned old story.
For awhile my listen grappled with that: how many people I could've befriended, how many reunion parties I could've enjoyed with them, how many people hated my guts because they were lied to and made to believe I had done something wrong to them. Seriously there were people I didn't know, never met, never interacted with who would bully me or yell at me or exist pissed at me because they were misled by some lilliputian girls that I had backstabbed them. They probably nonetheless believe the fabricated drama to this day.
But whatever, you know. I didn't get any answers on why what happened had to happen or a resolution to the disharmonize they acquired, then I fabricated my own closure with that. Besides, information technology's not my god damn fault if a person prefers to mind to drama or high school mean girls earlier getting to know me every bit a person.
I often mused at how much of a waste my youth has been in terms of finding and establishing lifetime friendships. It'due south not a waste for me anymore. Growing up meant gaining a lot of enemies, losing a lot of friends, missing a lot of opportunities to build relationships because vicious gossip constantly swirled to a higher place my head. I used to retrieve I was the problem until I forced myself to get an developed, took responsibility for my own shit, and accepted I shouldn't be a ping-pong board for other people'due south insecurities.
These days I continue in touch with a lot of people I never even talked to in loftier school (mostly of usual disinterest, different social circles, and gap in age) and am yet friends with people who've heard the nastiest crap about me true and untrue BUT accept the loveliness of middle to choose to befriend me despite it. And honestly? They're the all-time, no exaggeration, despite the lack of Facebook selfies we mail.
And these days most of my, for lack of a amend term, ex-bullies are trying to act friendly with me whilst casually liking my social media posts despite having before made my life hell. And though I act friendly back like nothing ever happened – I'VE SEEN HOW UGLY PEOPLE'S HEARTS Tin Be AND I Retrieve.
I'm at peace with it, but I don't forget, especially when by and large no apologies were given. I have learned to take sorrys unsaid, let get of apologies that came years too late, and not begrudge life for circumstances undeserved. (Besides… karma always does its reprisal.)
Because other people'south actions are never actually near yous. To quote:
"We must not let other people's express perceptions to define u.s.a.." – Virginia Satir
If people dislike yous based on their own need to dislike other people, it is non your responsibleness to change their heed. If they are too proud to extend their hand or voice their remorse, so you take farther proof y'all deserve better. People should be humble enough to own up to that, to own up to their personal failings and misconceptions.
And to anyone going through the same, remember:
There are people who will dearest you that y'all have non met yet.
The most disturbing yet insightful agreement I forced myself to encounter is that sometimes things just happen. No reason, no explanation, no divine destiny rubbish on "There is a purpose for this, trust in God's program." Sometimes people are just shitty, the earth just sucks, and so the class of your life changes to a more rocky path.
When someone torments you that person is not a life lesson in disguise – they're simply hateful. When they purposely brand you miserable information technology is not because yous demand the experience in social club to attain a greater understanding of life. There are things y'all tin can acquire without you having to experience hurting.
As for my story?
Well I kept minding my concern, adapting to live lugging feet and trauma. The daughter I wanted to befriend is all the same non my friend, but nosotros smile at each other now. Plus over the years I eventually received, and then far, three unexpected messages from dissimilar individuals imploring for forgiveness. If you get 1 you are under no obligation to extend pardon. Do whatsoever y'all retrieve is all-time for you. Do not hold onto anger, but also practice non forget those who hurt you for shits and giggles. Never again allow them the satisfaction of affecting y'all.
"No i volition ever accept anything. I think the goal is to not want anyone's acceptance." – Nicki Minaj
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Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/sade-andria-zabala/2016/09/what-i-learned-from-high-school-rumors-and-mean-girls/
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